No Trace - Allie Keats

Audio: https://youtu.be/n2eMPTSB9Nw

Don’t tell my mom and don’t tell my dad, but I’m leaving tonight on the last train that Amtrak has - and I won’t look back. I’m going to change my name and change my face. I’m going to change my life in a way that can’t be traced. I’ll never come back to this place. These clothes are all wrong and this name doesn’t fit. It’s hard to explain, but my mind’s on fire from this. I can’t wait another night to exist.

And it is taking all I’ve got not to claw off my skin, but they tell me the pills and the surgeons might fix it.

I see her most nights inside my dreams: making her way in a life that I’d kill to lead. What I wouldn’t give for that to be me. Walking home on a darkening street. Mark 15:34 folded up inside of her sleeve (some words I don’t think she believes - a verse she no longer needs - what I wouldn’t give for that to be me).

And they tell me to flee is the coward’s way, but at least it’d let me live to see another day. My mind is burning at a million degrees. My heart feels that this body just ain’t me. It’s hard to be sure, but there’s one thing I know: I’ve been waiting my whole life, so it’s time to go. And it takes all I’ve got not to claw off my skin, but they tell me the pills and the surgeons might fix it.

Copyright (C) 2022 Allie Keats